Premature Exclamation: a messy start

Howzit!

Many of you dear readers, if you had been paying attention, would be looking out with beady eyes for the start of my epic adventure: much like a meerkat, desperate for a wee but sure there’s danger in the long grass, will peer with increasing agitation all around until it’s too late.

Well gentle blogophile, let me tell you: I have had a heck of a start.

I won’t name names. Instead of hitting the cold hard rails of the Eurotunnel this morning I was holding a copy of the Holy Bible and swearing at an official of the court. I really don’t want to go into detail but it involved quite a lot of cash, the protection of minors (not miners, don’t make the same mistake I did), the Crown Plaza Hotel at Heathrow and a 24hr delay to the start of my journey proper.

I blog at your face from my Hotel bed – The Portland Hotel, Folkestone to be precise – where they have very thoughtfully given me a room that slopes. A long day in the saddle is relieved somewhat by lying down and elevating one’s feet. Here the bed automatically provides that inclination: possibly due to seeing too many inclinations of another sort. I did not bring my black-light with me thank goodness but I followed some excellent last minute travel advice and bought 10 pairs of spare Under Rods. Location, Location, Location indeed: after seeing this room it put’s me in mind of Kirsty’s tight, dark entrance with a dirty welcome mat – you must remember that episode.

Folkestone appears to be in the middle of building its seaside at the moment and there’s some bits that really are trying to be nice. The sun came out this evening as I walked to what must be the one shiny point on this rusty sheriffs badge – The Pullman. Look it up – it is fantastic!

In the morning, after sampling a Full English (not for the first time but possibly that last for a bit) I will be hopping up the road to Calais and from there to my first Goal – Troyes. Had to find new digs though – this time in the centre.

I have also tested a brilliant Gadget for motorcyclists on long journeys… I flipping love it. A special review will appear soon. Goodnight.